November is National Gratitude Month and is the perfect time to express who and what we are grateful for. If you want to know why I included this photo to represent my gratitude, keep reading (hint: it’s not what you might think).
When I was young and complained over small stuff, I heard “be grateful for what you have” from my parents. When I grew up and had kids of my own I said the same thing to them. After all, it is solid advice.
I was grateful for the things I had: my family, my dogs, good health, friends and my material stuff. When things were going well in my life, being grateful was easy but when life got difficult it was not.
It was in mid-life when I learned that when things aren’t going well I needed to dig deep, really deep, to look for the good because the bad was way too easy to find.
A few years ago I took a 16-hour training course to become a volunteer with Merrimack Home Health and Hospice. It was an incredible experience where I was taught new ways to think about end-of-life moments and care. One day during training we watched a powerful pre recorded interview with 5 terminally ill patients who expressed things they were grateful for. All spoke about being grateful for having the chance to say what was needed to be said to their loved ones: saying I love you to friends and family and getting the chance to express I’m sorry or even to just speak their piece in order to clear the air with those that had rifts with.
But there was one woman’s unusual comment I will never forget. She was in palliative care and in the final weeks of her life after having gone through chemo and radiation for her cancer treatment. She said at the top of her list of things she was grateful for was indoor plumbing.
The camera was on her but you could hear the man interviewing her. There was surprise, or maybe confusion, in his voice when he repeated, “Indoor plumbing?”
Now, I’m paraphrasing this next part, but she said she was so sick from the chemo and radiation and was so thankful she had her own bathroom. If she lived in another part of the world she might not have had that luxury.
That is digging deep for gratitude.
So back to the above photo.
This photo of Tripp and I was taken on September 27, 2015, at the Golden Retriever Club of America National Specialty. It was a Sunday. I couldn’t wait to call my son Kevin to tell him Tripp got his fifth and final pass to earn the title of AKC Master Hunter. Kevin loved the dogs and was one of our biggest cheerleaders.
Kevin lived on the west coast so, between work, his social life, and the time difference (I live on the east coast) catching him on the phone was usually tricky.
I called him that evening and as luck would have it I caught him just as he was heading out for the evening with friends. He was delighted, giving a throaty laugh just before he said “Great job, Mom!”. We talked for a few more minutes and we ended the call both saying “I love you” to each other.
He died five days later.
It took time and a lot of practice to find things to be grateful for when I was in the midst of so much pain but it did happen. Whenever I find something new to be grateful for, I write it down in my journal which I can say is now many pages deep.
Every time I look at this picture I think of our phone call and can still hear his voice saying I love you. For that, that one simple three-word sentence, that one short phone call, and so much more I am grateful.
What are you grateful for? Where can you dig deep?
Susan Lynch is a former competitive dog trainer who has been training, competing and volunteering with her Golden Retrievers since 1995. In 2020, she founded Life with Rune, a Facebook community that documents the socializing and training of her own puppy Rune. In 2021, she was awarded the Rachel Page Elliot Lifetime Achievement award by the Golden Retriever Club of America. Her memoir Life After Kevin: A Mother’s Search for Peace and the Golden Retrievers that Led the Way is available here . To learn more, visit: www.susan-lynch.com.
For socializing ideas and training tips go to the Life with Rune Facebook group and click on the Guides tab at the top of the home page.