You can never know at what point your memories will need to last a lifetime.
Hi, I’m Susan. I am an author, the mother of two adult sons, and have spent over 25 years training, competing, and volunteering with my Golden Retrievers.
In 2015, my 25-year-old son Kevin, died from an accidental overdose and my old life came to a full stop. My grief became a journey to answer the question that haunted me: Was the rest of my life just going to be something to endure?
Five years later, I wrote the story, and the answer, in my award-winning memoir, Life After Kevin.
Today, I speak about the themes of Life After Kevin to help those facing their own grief by sharing what I’ve learned about living and grieving well.
Please see my Speaker Sheet for more information.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves
~Viktor Frankl
At some point, we will experience challenges in our personal life. The loss of a loved one ranks right at the top of life’s stressors. I was 48 when my son Kevin died unexpectedly. His death left me feeling broken beyond repair. When the toxicology report came back listing the cause of death as multiple drug intoxication I felt utterly alone.
I remember wondering if my life was just going to be something to endure.
The stigma surrounding overdose was everywhere. Would my son only be remembered by how he died? If I did share that he had died, I would deliberately leave out the cause of death. About 98% of the time it would be met with “Oh my God, I am so sorry” with a brief pause before the questions, “What happened?” and “How did he die?” would start. These seemingly innocent questions would have me stumbling around trying to come up with a vague answer like “We aren’t really sure…”
My inner dialogue was critical. How could I not know he had used opioids? I was his Mom, how could I have let this happen? At what point did I do the wrong thing? The shame I felt toward myself was as if I had made some fatal error as a parent. As a result, I kept his cause of death a secret for 2 years- from my parents, family, friends- everyone. And for two years, I was inadvertently feeding my shame with the 3 things it needed to flourish: judgment, silence, and secrecy.
Until it all imploded.
That was the point I hit a crossroads. I could keep hiding (which was clearly not working for me) or I could start talking about it. I knew I couldn’t be the only one feeling like this. I started thinking maybe my story could be helpful to someone else.
I wanted to shine a light on the stigma surrounding overdose to create understanding and empathy toward those grieving a stigmatized loss. I also wanted to spread hope in knowing that you can connect with your loved ones and that finding peace and purpose after loss is possible.
One of the best parts I found through my journey is that we can be active participants in our own healing.
In 2022, I decided to share it all in my memoir, Life After Kevin; A Mother’s Search for Peace and the Golden Retrievers that Led the Way. As I wrote the book, I kept you in mind with the sincere hope that you find peace along your own journey by walking along with me on mine.
I invite you to explore my site to learn more. To discuss speaking engagements, please reach out here.
